Not everyone is going to like you…
BY SIAN JONES
A few years ago, a Neu21 team member left to start his own business; it is something we celebrate and encourage at Neu21. Before he left, he called me and asked me for some words of advice. I said to him: “As a leader and business owner, not everyone is going to like you.” I noticed a strange silence at the other end and he politely said thank you; but I had the feeling that was not the advice he was seeking.
A couple of years later I saw a post from him on LinkedIn where he recalled this conversation, and he admitted that he felt a bit underwhelmed with my advice. He said he was expecting to hear about revenues and profits and margins and business growth. He then continued to explain how more than a year on into his business and having hired 30 people, and with some inevitable exits, he now realised just how good this advice was.
Being a leader in an organisation or a business owner is one of the best things in life, in my opinion. But it also carries a high level of responsibility that one needs to be prepared to accept. And to me that level of responsibility is that the whole is more important than its parts. As a leader or business owner, your job is to keep your team or organisation in the best possible state; and I don’t mean just financially, I also mean culturally and from a health and wellbeing point of view. You do have a responsibility for every person that forms part of your team or business, but you also have at the same time a responsibility for the entire team or business as a whole. And that is a very difficult balance to get right.
There is a very fine and delicate balance between profitability, performance and cultural harmony; and as a leader, you need to be intuitively always observing that space. Is someone in your business or team not performing as they should? Is that affecting the profitability or performance of the organisation? Is their cultural contribution positive or negative? What would happen to the entire system (team or organisation) if you removed that element (person)?
Now, I may sound a bit heartless and too analytical; but that’s the opposite of my intention or the way I see business. In fact, I think any decision that affects people in your team or organisation needs to be made with the utmost care, kindness and respect for everyone involved. But when it comes to making the decision of letting someone in your team or organisation go or other tough decisions you need to make, as much as you try to do it with that care and kindness, it may not be well received or understood by that person.
Many leaders like me end up in leadership positions because they like to help others, they like to see others grow, they like to coach, mentor and guide. They also like at times to take the “hero” role and lead a team or organisation to places they didn’t think they would get. The problem is that “superheros” are typically liked. It is the villains that are disliked. Not us. So, what happens, when we need to take for a moment that role of the villain? What happens inside of us? For many, there is an intense struggle of not being liked and doing the right thing. If you have felt it, you are not alone. It is normal.
I think it comes down to the ability to believe that you took the best decision for the entire team and organisation, with the utmost care for people being involved and not driven by your own ambition or desire to be liked.
I think it was Winston Churchill who said: “You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, something in your life.” I am not supporting the idea of creating enemies by the way; but if you are a leader and you had to make a tough decision for the betterment of the whole and not to driven by your own ambition; even at the risk of not being liked, you did good.